Heartbreak, or It's Never Too Late

I have been reading my journals, and in them are two tightly braided themes: Write Professionally, and Earn Money.

The Earn Money comes out of my babyhood: I felt an urge to contribute financially as early as age 6, which is why I took my precious dollar and walked myself the 3/4 mile to the store and bought my bamboo fishing pole, string, bobber, hook, and sinker. $1.03 with tax. If I could fish, I could put food on the table.

The Write Professionally was there from childhood, too, but it reached fever pitch by age 40 and I saw that I could combine it the Earn Money urge. I gave it a stab, actually sold some stuff, worked as an editor, helped D w/ his books, etc.

"Heartbreak" is reading this: http://www.kingsolver.com/about/about.asp.

The parallels are everywhere, right down to the present. Maybe you can pick them out, too.

It is not lost on me that while she was doing those successful writing things, I was making wonderful babies AND doing a lot of writing and sometimes farming and sometimes gardening.

BUT there's a big part of me that is not willing to let go of the Professional Writer piece (as well as the 'buy local' and 'grow your own' pieces, but that I've addressed earlier and in other places: see http://grammypegskitchen.blogspot.com).

I have read a lot of Kingsolver. Some of it is delightfully quirky, and all of it is struggling for meaning. I was SO disappointed by Poisonwood Bible, not for the writing but for the point - it never did have one, other than to criticize a well-intentioned boob for being a 'man of faith'.

I DO have a lot to say of value, that I know. And I would really love an audience, as in Published Book.

I don't want to become Barbara Kingsolver. But I would like to be read as she is. And I really really liked Animal, Vegetable, Miracle (almost done) despite some really overly precious writing. I wish I had written it.

And one last point: This woman is an awesome marketer. That I lay no claim to, despite being a student and purveyor of it. No, she takes it to remarkable heights! I have much to learn! PL